Have you ever dug down deep inside your pockets just to see what’s in them? Well, just yesterday I decided to do exactly that and although my pockets appeared to be empty, I continued to dig down just to see if I could find something, anything. Well, I didn’t have to venture too deep until I uncovered the federal government in there. In fact, they were in all my pockets pushing and shoving all the other people in there just to show who’s boss.
After digging deeper, I also found every credit card issuer I do business with, my health insurance company, auto insurance company, municipal tax dept, cable and cell phone provider and heck, even my chiropractor was in there who has a way with words, basically, he only knows how to say, “that will be $100 and see me three times weekly”. So, I think I’ll switch to aspirin, its cheaper and most likely just as effective with the added benefit of relieving my pocket of at least one pest.
Upon further inspection it appeared that all these people and a few others were actually fighting each other, quite violently for a larger share of my pockets! It got so intense that I ripped my pants off and immediately put on a new pair in an attempt to rid myself of these pests but to no avail, they were all inside those pockets too!
In fact, every pocket of every piece of clothing I own was infested by them! No matter how many times I changed my pants, including buying a new pair, they continued to reside inside each and every pocket. Needless to say, this was quite upsetting as I was certain that those new, never-worn-before pair of jeans would be free of this troubling infestation.
After many days of futile attempts to rid myself of the problem, I adjourned to the fact that it was actually funny to witness these parasites as they were slapping, beating, spitting and jumping over one another to claim the lions share of my pockets in a typical celebrity death match style. In the end, the government and my health insurance company pretty much beat the crap out of the other competitors although a few banks did come close.
I imagine it must be nice living in my pockets. It certainly beats working and if possible, I’d like to become a parasite that lives within the pockets of another.
Have you checked your pockets lately?
